Things I'll Never Say
by DarknessFallsAcrossTheLand
Summary: My first fanfic.It's Lucius' final year at Hogwarts, and he has a single goal. To win the heart of one Narcissa Williams.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey! This is my first fanfic so please don't be too hard on me with your reviews. Oh, and BTW, I'm American so forgive me if my use of British slang isn't perfect, I'm working on it. Thanks for taking time to read my story and please R/R!!  
  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters. They all belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.  
  
There she was, Narcissa Williams, standing quietly with all the other 7th year students waiting to board the Hogwarts Express for the journey to the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry for their very much anticipated last year. The summer was all too brutal for Lucius Malfoy, who had longed to see Narcissa since the moment he arrived home for his summer vacation.  
  
I will, Lucius thought to himself as he stared at the beautiful young woman in front of him, tell her how I feel about her. This year will be different. No more hiding in the shadows of the Slytherin common room waiting to get a glimpse of her as she passes late at night after she returns from her long study sessions in the library. No more "accidentally" dropping things in front of her to make her notice me. No, this year I will."Lucius!", came a voice from behind him, interrupting his deep thought. It was his mother. "Yes, Mother", he said absentmindedly, still staring at the beautiful Narcissa, who's long blonde hair was flowing behind her as she walked. "Lucius, I just wanted to say goodbye and have a nice year."  
  
"Goodbye, Mother. I'll see you soon," Lucius said as he walked toward the train with growing anticipation of the year to come. He smiled to himself as he turned his plan to approach Narcissa over and over in his mind. It truly was an excellent plan.  
  
Lucius boarded the train and went to search for an empty compartment so he could sit and wait for his best friend, Severus Snape to arrive. A few minutes later Severus came strolling into the compartment with an infuriated look on his pale face.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Lucius asked questioningly.  
  
"I've just had a run-in with Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew." Severus said maliciously. "God, I hate them!"  
  
Lucius grimaced at the thought of them. "Who doesn't?" He asked. "Famous Gryffindor Seeker Potter and his band of idiotic friends. And that stupid girlfriend of his, Lily Evans, the filthy mudblood." Lucius scoffed.  
  
"Well apparently," Snape continued, "everyone but the Slytherins think that he's just the greatest thing in the world. I bet it's only because he's been the champion of the Gryffindor Quidditch team for the past six years." Severus said with a hint of jealously that Lucius had heard too many times while Severus was rambling on about how much he hated Potter. Lucius knew that Severus secretly had a crush on that mudblood girlfriend of James' and couldn't even begin to fathom how his good friend could ever like that.  
  
"Do you still like Narcissa?" Severus asked.  
  
Lucius looked up at him and smiled. "Of course I do, Severus. In fact, over the summer holiday I devised a brilliant plan to make Narcissa Williams mine." Lucius said with a glint in his bright gray eyes.  
  
"Well, lets hear it then." Severus said with a smile as he closed the door to the compartment so that the two could be alone.  
  
Meanwhile, out in the corridor, Narcissa and her friend Jackie were looking for a compartment for themselves.  
  
"All of these are full, Narcissa." Commented Narcissa's friend Jackie as they walked through the narrow corridor of the train. "Maybe we could find Lucius's compartment." She said in a mocking tone.  
  
"Shut up, will you!" Narcissa snapped at her. "Someone could overhear you!"  
  
Jackie puts her ear up to a door and listens. "Doesn't sound like there's anyone in here."  
  
Jackie opens the door and walks into the compartment, followed by Narcissa. Lucius and Severus look up at them surprised. Narcissa turns red upon seeing Lucius.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry! We didn't know you were in here!" Jackie cried.  
  
"That's okay," said Severus. "We weren't doing anything important." He said and smirked at Lucius, who was just as red as Narcissa.  
  
"We were just looking for an empty compartment." Narcissa stated. "We'll leave you two alone now."  
  
"Oh, nonsense. There are only two of us in here. We can all share if you two don't care." Said Severus.  
  
"Why not?" Said Jackie. "Is that okay with you Narcissa?"  
  
"I guess it's okay if Lucius doesn't mind." Narcissa stated.  
  
"No, I don't mind. It's perfectly fine with me." Said Lucius, who was still blushing furiously at the sight of Narcissa.  
  
"Great!" Said Severus and Jackie in unison, as they walked over to the side of the compartment opposite of Lucius, which forced Narcissa to sit beside Lucius.  
  
All of a sudden, the train started moving and Narcissa fell forward landing in Lucius's lap with a soft gasp.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Narcissa said as she tried to regain her balance.  
  
"It's okay," said Lucius, as she sat down beside him.  
  
The train started moving faster and faster north toward Hogwarts. No one spoke, and the silence was more than Jackie could bear, being the talkative person that she was.  
  
"So," said Severus, breaking the awkward silence between the four, "How was everyone's summer?"  
  
Jackie jumped at this question straight away. "Well, Narcissa and I spent most of our summer together on vacation in France."  
  
"How was it there?" Severus asked.  
  
"Oh, it is the most beautiful country in the world," exclaimed Jackie. "You really should visit there some time."  
  
They talked for a while, but eventually the conversation fell flat and they all decided to read for the rest of the train ride. Narcissa took out her favorite book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and began reading.  
  
Lucius stared out the small window of the train and watched the seemingly endless fields go by in a blur. Occasionally, he glanced over at Narcissa, who seemed very into her book. Oh, how he hated that book. He glanced over at Severus, who gave him a smirk and a thumbs up. Lucius scoffed at his friend's immaturity and went back to looking out the window. All of a sudden, they heard a loud banging at the compartment door and James Potter emerged with his moronic friends and his mudblood girlfriend.  
  
"What do you want Potter?" Lucius questioned with a look of pure malice in his eye.  
  
"Ooooh, look guys", exclaimed Sirius. "Looks like Lucius has found himself a girlfriend. And she's just as evil as he is!"  
  
"Shove off Sirius, you slimy git", Lucius barked. "Go wash your hair you dirtbag."  
  
James chuckled. "Oh, yes Lucius, you really should be talking with that slimeball for a best friend you've got yourself there."  
  
"Go to hell Potter, and take your filthy mudblooded girlfriend there with you. You're a disgrace to purebloods everywhere." Lucius snapped.  
  
"That's it Malfoy! No one insults my girlfriend and gets away with it!" James screamed and he lunged at Lucius.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" shouted Narcissa, who had her wand out and was pointing it at James.  
  
James flew back and hit the door opposite them. Sirius, Lily, Remus and Peter all went running to see if James was okay.  
  
"I wonder what that was all about?" Jackie asked, confused as to why they came into their compartment in the first place.  
  
"I dunno." Severus replied.  
  
"Thanks, Narcissa", said Lucius, who then turned to Severus and Jackie who were staring open mouthed at Narcissa, who was known for being an adamant pacifist.  
  
"No problem. That stupid git gets on my nerves so much", Narcissa responded as she looked at her watch and realized that they were awfully close to school and they were not even in their school robes yet. "We all better change into our school robes. We're almost there." She said.  
  
After they were all in their Hogwarts robes, Severus opened the window and peered out as the train started to slow. "It's still raining." He said frustrated, as he hated the rain.  
  
The train slowed to a stop in front of the school and everyone disembarked through the horrible weather to the Great Hall, where they would be holding the Sorting Ceremony and the Feast.  
  
Luckily for Lucius, his and James's paths did not cross again, but as they neared the Great Hall, he and Severus saw James and Sirius telling a very animated story to a group of Gryffindor students. Obviously, they were talking about what had happened on the train, because as Lucius and Severus passed, the Gryffindors gave them a very hateful look. James obviously had lied about his "bravery" through the whole ordeal and also had so conveniently forgotten to mention the fact that he, and not Lucius, was hit by the spell cast by Narcissa.  
  
"I'll kill that bastard," Lucius said angrily.  
  
"Don't worry about him, Lucius," Severus mumbled. "He's not worth it."  
  
"I guess you're right," Lucius replied.  
  
They entered the Great Hall and walked silently to the Slytherin table, sat down and waited for Dumbledore, the Headmaster, who Lucius loathed, to come in and make his yearly speech and get on with the Sorting.  
  
A few moments later, in strode Dumbledore. He welcomed the new first year students and smiled reassuringly at the scared new students. He made his yearly speech and the Sorting proceeded.  
  
After it was all over, and the new students were sitting at the tables of their newly appointed houses, the feast began.  
  
"So." Said Severus quietly to Lucius, so as no one could hear their conversation.  
  
"So what?" Questioned Lucius, raising an eyebrow at his friend.  
  
"Did you see how Narcissa was staring at you the entire time we were on the train?" Severus asked.  
  
"No, I wasn't really paying that much attention to what she was doing. I thought she was reading that book of hers." Lucius responded.  
  
"Well she was, but every couple of minutes she kept looking over at you. I think she might have a thing for you Lucius."  
  
"Right, Narcissa Williams has a thing for me." Lucius scoffed. "I'm Lucius Malfoy, probably the most hated wizard in the school."  
  
"Well I thought you wanted her to like you. You should be just a little more exited about this."  
  
"I do want her to like me, but.well, I."  
  
"Why, Lucius Malfoy," Severus laughed, "It looks to me as if you are worried, I daresay. And about a girl, no less."  
  
"I'm not worried!" Lucius exclaimed. "I just really like her and I, well, I want her to like me too."  
  
"Lucius," said Severus reassuringly, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You come from one of the richest and most prestigious wizarding families in the world."  
  
"So what? That's not why she should like me. If she were to like me, I would want her to like me because of the person I am, and not because of the family I come from."  
  
"Hmm, well I still think you have nothing to worry about." Severus said.  
  
After the feast, Severus and Lucius went down to the Slytherin Common Room and sat on rather large leather couch in front of the fireplace and talked over Lucius's plan some more. They sat there for almost two hours, and when they we're done, they had realized that the Common Room was empty, as all of the other students had already gone to bed.  
  
"Well, I guess we should go to bed now, then, huh?" Asked Lucius. "Tomorrow's the first day and we have.ah, Divination." He said, looking down at his schedule.  
  
"Oh, great, my favorite class." Severus mumbled sarcastically as they walked up the stairs to their bedroom.  
  
It took Lucius a while to get to sleep because he had a lot of things on his mind, such as Narcissa, his plan, that asshole Potter, and of course the following day and Divination, his least favorite class. He finally fell into an unrestful sleep and awaited the next day, when he could see Narcissa again.  
  
A/N: YAY!! I've finally finished my first chapter. Sorry it was so short. I promise my next chapter will be longer and more interesting. So, what do you guys think? Should I continue? Well, please review and tell me what you think so far. I'm open to any suggestions, so if you have one you can email me at ceruleanpunk@mail2rock.com. Shout outs to my best friends Chelsea and Angela! Hey guys!! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ah, welcome back my faithful readers. Here is chapter 2. Keep the reviews coming please, as I love to bask in my own greatness. Just kidding, even though reviews are nice .*wink wink*  
  
Disclaimer: As you already know, I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, because, yes, they still belong to J.K.  
  
CHAPTER 2 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Lucius awoke the next morning not feeling very rested at all. He got up and got dressed slowly, in the dark. He was the first one up, as usual, which he didn't mind in the slightest because he liked to have his alone time. Now, more that ever, having his alone time was very imperative, so he could work out all the slight kinks in his already perfect plan. He checked his watch to see how much time he had. It was 5:37. A great time to wake up because it was very likely that he would be the only one up in the whole castle. And, oh how very wrong he was.  
  
As he reached the bottom of the narrow, winding stairs leading to the Slytherin Common Room, he saw, none other than Narcissa, sitting on a huge leather couch, very engrossed in a large book. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, sitting there all alone in front of the raging fire. Lucius did not know what came over him at that time, but he suddenly had the urge to talk to the girl whom he had been avoiding for most of his years at Hogwarts. Apparently the fear of rejection had left him, and he had surprised even himself as he slowly crept up behind Narcissa.  
  
"What are you doing up so early?" He asked.  
  
Narcissa let out a scream and jumped up, wand in hand, ready to jinx whoever had just said that. Then she saw the gray eyes and long blonde hair, automatically knowing that it was Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"Oh my God, Lucius!" She cried. "You scared me half to death!"  
  
Lucius chuckled. "Not going to jinx me, I hope?" He asked, nodding at the wand still clutched tightly in Narcissa's hand. "After what happened with Potter last night, I wouldn't want to anger you. Lord knows what kind of spell you would put on me."  
  
"Well, I was going to jinx you, then I realized it was you and I stopped myself. Knowing you, the moment you recovered, you'd probably jinx me back with something ten times worse."  
  
"No I wouldn't have. I mean, you had good reason to jinx me. I did sneak up on you and all." Lucius responded. "By the way, what are you going up this early? Usually I'm the only one up at this time"  
  
"Well, I wanted to get some reading done," she said, holding up the rather large book. "And I can't read in my dormitory with all the tossing and turning coming from my room mates."  
  
"Oh," Lucius said.  
  
"Why are you up so early, too?" She questioned.  
  
"Oh, I'm always up this early. I have a lot of thinking to do and this is just about the only time I can be alone, until now." He said, smiling at her.  
  
"I see," she said. "Well, I'm very sorry for taking up your 'alone time'."  
  
"It's quite alright," he smiled.  
  
"Well, I'm still rather tired," Narcissa commented. "I guess I'll be going now. See you in Divination."  
  
"Bye," Lucius said as she descended the stairs to her dormitory.  
  
After she was gone, Lucius decided that he wanted to take a stroll down to the lake to clear his head.  
  
He made sure to be very quiet as he walked through the dark corridors, listening carefully for the noise of Filch's footsteps. Lucius knew that Filch loved to roam the corridors in the middle of the night, looking for students who were wandering about the school, most likely causing trouble. Even the cunning Lucius had been apprehended by Filch once when he was taking one of his early morning strolls. Since Filch despised Lucius, he took him straight to Dumbledore, not even giving him a chance to explain himself. Apparently, Filch wasn't the only one who didn't like Lucius, because Professor Dumbledore gave Lucius a week's worth of detentions for being out of bed and wandering around the school. Lucius was the only person ever to get a detention for being out of bed. All of the other students had just gotten a lecture and a few points taken from their House. Dumbledore and Filch obviously thought that Lucius was up to something evil, because it was a well-known fact that once he had finished his schooling, Lucius was going to become a Death Eater like his father. Lucius was not exited about becoming a Death Eater, because he had seen what it had done to people, and Lucius did not want to turn into a cold, heartless person, like his father. Lucius knew that he was already cold and heartless enough, and this, of course, disappointed him, but there was nothing he could do about it because he was brought up this way and if he refused to become a Death Eater, Lord Voldemort would surely kill him and his family. Lucius hated having to be a Death Eater for the rest of his life, but he knew this was what was expected of him and this was what he had to do.  
  
When he reached the lake, he sat down on a very large rock, near the shore. He wondered, as he always did, about what Narcissa would think of him if he became a Death Eater. Would she still be his friend? He hated the thought of Narcissa not being his friend anymore because he was a henchman for one of the most feared wizards in the world. Most of all he hated his father for making him do this.  
  
Severus was becoming a Death Eater as well. Voldemort insisted that Severus become a Death Eater as soon as he got wind of Severus's "gift" with potions. Severus would most likely become the most powerful Potions Master of all with help from Voldemort. Lucius was so envious of Severus because Potions was one of, if not his, worst subject.  
  
Lucius sat on the rock thinking about his inevitable future and how he did not want to go through with it. He had lost track of time and had dozed off, when all of a sudden, a gigantic animal emerged from the murky water of the lake. The splashing water awoke Lucius instantly. It was a huge squid and Lucius realized that this legend he had heard about so many times, but had never seen himself, was actually real. He blinked several times and stared at it for a few moments to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. It was the most magnificent thing he had ever seen in his entire life. The squid just seemed content in just sitting there and watching Lucius.  
  
Lucius looked down at his watch to see what at time it was. It was about five minutes until 8 o'clock. Divination started at 8 and Lucius wasn't even properly dressed for class yet.  
  
"Oh shit!" Lucius exclaimed. He ran from the lake and was running through the doors of the castle towards his dormitory in a matter of seconds. Luckily for Lucius, he was a very fast runner. He got to his dormitory, put on his school clothes, grabbed his books, and sprinted to the Divination classroom. He got there just in time and found Severus, Narcissa and Jackie sitting at the table farthest from where the professor would be lecturing.  
  
"Where have you been?" Severus asked, as Lucius sat in an empty chair between him and Narcissa. "You missed breakfast."  
  
"I was taking an early morning stroll and I accidentally lost track of the time," Lucius said, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Oh, so that's where you went after I left," Narcissa commented, "I left one of my books and I went back down to get it, but you were gone."  
  
"Narcissa," came a cold voice from the front of the cold voice from the front of the classroom, "Would you like to share something with the class?"  
  
Narcissa blushed. She wasn't used to getting in trouble. "No Professor," she apologized, "I'm sorry for interrupting."  
  
"Very well then," the professor said, and he continued on with his lecture.  
  
Divination seemed longer than usual that day, and more boring as well, but finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang and everyone was off to lunch. Lucius, Severus, Narcissa and Jackie sat together and talked about how boring Divination had been and how they hoped that their next class, Potions, would be better.  
  
"Severus, um, can I talk to you.in private?" Narcissa asked.  
  
Severus raised a questioning eyebrow. "What for?" He asked.  
  
"Um, well I can't say it here in front of them." She said, nodding towards Lucius and Jackie.  
  
"Okay, fine," Severus replied.  
  
"Hmmm, I wonder what it is that she can't say in front of us?" Lucius asked Jackie as Narcissa and Severus got up and left the Great Hall to go and find a more private place to talk.  
  
"I dunno," Jackie lied. She hated lying to Lucius, but she knew that Narcissa would never speak to her again if she told Lucius what she wanted to talk to Severus about.  
  
Out on the steps of the Entrance Hall Severus and Narcissa were talking quietly.  
  
"What did you want to talk to me about, Narcissa?" Severus questioned.  
  
"Well this is kind of embarrassing, but I need your help." Narcissa replied.  
  
"With what?" Severus asked.  
  
"You're Lucius's best friend, right?"  
  
"Yeah. So."  
  
"Well, you see, I um, well, I kinda, I like Lucius.a lot," she admitted, not looking directly at Severus, trying to escape his inquisitive stare.  
  
Severus chuckled. "So, you're fond of Lucius, huh?"  
  
"Very much so," she answered, "But Severus, you mustn't tell him! He can never know. Promise me you won't tell him, Severus, please!"  
  
"Calm down, Narcissa. People are liable to think you've gone mental!"  
  
"I'm sorry Severus, but seeing as you two are best friends, you probably tell each other everything."  
  
"Not necessarily," Severus said, "Not if you don't want me to."  
  
"Thank you so much Severus."  
  
"If you knew that we tell each other everything, then why did you tell me in the first place?" He asked.  
  
"Well I was hoping you could help me."  
  
"In what way?"  
  
"Since you're his best friend and everything, I was wondering if you could, you know, tell me what kind of girl he likes and tell me if I'm anything like that."  
  
"Honestly, Narcissa, I really don't know," he said, "We really don't talk about it that much."  
  
Severus had to smile at himself for this comment. He knew exactly what kind of girl Lucius liked, and that girl was Narcissa, but he refrained from telling her this, because he promised Lucius that he wouldn't tell her, no matter what. He couldn't even describe it without the fact that Lucius liked her as well without being blatantly obvious.  
  
"Oh," she frowned.  
  
"I'll try to find out later if you like." Severus offered.  
  
"Sure, why not. But just make sure not to let anything slip, or you'll be like that git Potter on the train ride here. Do you remember that?" She smirked.  
  
Severus laughed. "How could I forget?"  
  
"And you don't want that to happen to you, now do you Severus?" She smiled evilly at him.  
  
"No, of course not." Severus said. He looked down at his watch. "Well, we'd better be going of Lucius and Jackie will start to worry where we've gone off to."  
  
"Okay then."  
  
And with that, they walked back into the Great Hall to join Lucius and Jackie again.  
  
Later that night, after dinner and a trip to the library to see if they could find any books to assist them with their Divination homework, which they had loads of, Lucius and Severus were in their dormitory getting ready for bed. Lucius longed to know what Severus had talked to Narcissa about for so long earlier that day, but he wasn't about to ask. He didn't want to seem desperate. It just wasn't like a Malfoy to seem desperate, even if it was his best friend. He couldn't take the pressure much longer though. He had to know.  
  
"Severus?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah?" Severus answered.  
  
Lucius didn't say anything.  
  
Severus raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "What, Lucius?" He said again.  
  
"I was just wondering.," he trailed off.  
  
"You were just wondering what, exactly?" Not that Severus needed to be told. He could read Lucius like a book. He always could, even with the mysterious Lucius.  
  
"I was-" He was cut off by an impatient Severus.  
  
"Wondering what Narcissa and I were talking about earlier today?" He supplied.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm sorry Lucius, but I can't tell you."  
  
"Why not?!" Lucius demanded.  
  
"Because I promised Narcissa that I wouldn't tell anyone." He responded.  
  
"But I'm your best friend Severus! You have to tell me!"  
  
"No I don't. I told Narcissa I wouldn't."  
  
"But Severus!" Lucius begged.  
  
"No Lucius!" Severus thundered. His friend was really starting to irritate him. "I've never seen you beg like this before Lucius. I never expected a Malfoy to care so much as to beg."  
  
"Sevvie, please!" Lucius pleaded.  
  
"Whoa, wait a minute," Severus answered. "I know that you did not just call me 'Sevvie' Lucius Malfoy."  
  
Lucius smirked. He knew this would make Severus talk. Severus hated that name and it was the only way that Lucius knew how to get Severus to tell him anything he wanted.  
  
"Why, yes I did call you 'Sevvie', Sevvie." Lucius said with an evil smirk.  
  
"Damn you, Lucius," Severus said, "Okay, fine, I'll tell you, but you have to swear to me Lucius Malfoy, that you will not tell her that I told you this or I swear on my life that I will kill you." And he would have too.  
  
Lucius knew that he wasn't joking when he said that.  
  
"I swear." Lucius said.  
  
"She likes you," Severus whispered inaudibly.  
  
"What? Speak up Severus. I can't hear you."  
  
"She likes you," Severus said again quietly. He was so mad at himself for breaking his promise to Narcissa.  
  
"Damnit, Severus, speak up!" Lucius demanded.  
  
"SHE-LIKES-YOU!" Severus screamed. "Did you hear me that time? Would you like for me to say it again, you prat?"  
  
"What?!" Lucius exclaimed. "Are you serious?"  
  
Severus nodded, ashamed of himself for telling.  
  
"OH MY GOD, SEVERUS!" Lucius was screaming so loud that Severus could barely stand it. "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LIKES ME!" Lucius was so caught up in the moment that he actually hugged Severus.  
  
"Shit, Lucius," Severus said, pushing his ecstatic friend away from him. "Don't ever do that again! Are you sure that you're a Malfoy?"  
  
"I'm sorry Severus. I don't know what come over me. I'm usually not one to share my feelings like that."  
  
"I know you aren't," he yawned. "God it's late and I'm really tired, so if you don't mind, we'll talk about this tomorrow."  
  
"Okay," said Lucius as he yawned too. He went and turned off the lights and they went to bed. Lucius was happier than he had ever been in his entire seventeen years. He couldn't wait for the next day.  
  
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A/N: Okay, so there's chapter two. Sorry it took so long, but I was slaving over my website, which still isn't perfect yet, but it's getting there. Oh, and I'm sorry about the hug moment. I know we expect Lucius Malfoy to control his feelings better, but I couldn't help it. Come on, admit it, you know you would let Lucius Malfoy hug you! Don't lie to me! *thinks about getting a hug from Lucius Malfoy* *faints* Shout-outs once again to Chelsea and Angela. Hey, you see that little thing at the bottom of the page that says "Submit Review"? Well, feel free to click it! Byeness! 


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